Nannies, Families, and Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages, book by Gary Chapman, swept the nation. Couples everywhere jumped to take the test to find out what their and their partner’s love languages are. Love Languages help people better understand their own emotional needs as well as the emotional needs of their partner to better strengthen a relationship. Knowing what another person wants and needs in order to feel safe, happy and secure is essential in creating a happy and healthy relationship. This study has been primarily focused on adult romantic relationships, but there is no reason that the love language cannot apply directly to children and their nannies as well.
What are the 5 Love Languages?
According to author Gary Chapman, there are 5 Love Languages, or five ways that people communicate their love or feel love communicated to them. They are:
- Acts of Service,
- Words of Affirmation,
- Receiving Gifts,
- Quality Time,
- Physical Touch.
How can I apply this to my child?
Children ask, through their actions, every day if they are seen or understood. A child acting out is a child who isn’t feeling seen or understood. Understanding your child’s love language can correct and assist with discipline. It can create a stronger bond with your child, and a child who feels loved and secure has a much easier time learning and a much higher success rate academically.
Knowing what love language your child most strongly connects with can greatly assist you in your search for a nanny and strengthen your child’s bond with their nanny should you already have one.
Where does my nanny come in?
Knowing what love language your child most strongly connects with can greatly assist you in your search for a nanny and strengthen your child’s bond with their nanny should you already have one. In searching for your next caregiver, you can ask leading questions in the interview (link to interview blog) that focus on the caregiver’s ability to connect with and provide for your child’s love language. The more your child feels seen and understood by their caregivers, the higher their self confidence and the better they do in school. Studies show that the less a child feels loved, the smaller their brains and the fewer neural pathways they have for learning.
Speaking to your child’s love language
If your child’s love language is quality time, but the way that you communicate your love is in gift giving, there can be a disconnect between you and your child. You both love each other, but your child may not recognize or understand that to you, gift giving is your expression of love. They need quality time to feel loved, secure and cared for. Instead of buying your child a gift, spend quality time with your child and encourage your nanny to do so as well. Quality time looks like active listening and engaging in the child’s interests without distractions. Once you understand how your child feels loved, you can express this to your child’s nanny so they can better assist in the child’s emotional development.
How to find out your love language
Interested in knowing what each member of your family’s love language is? Take the quiz here.
The first step towards providing for your child’s needs is to understand them. Love Languages are a wonderful way to strengthen communication with your child and create strong foundations for their developmental journey. If you have questions or comments about your child’s Love Language, or how to implement the strategy with your child’s nanny, reach out to us!
We would love to hear what your love language is and how you show and receive love!