What is a manny?

man·ny
ˈmanē/
noun
a male nanny
“my husband would like us to hire a manny for our two boys”

Now that we’re clear on the definition, here we will focus on person behind the name: who they are, where they come from, what they should do and should NOT do, and where they’re going. I already feel like this may be a ‘2-parter’ so we’ll see what happens.

It is my intention that before the end of my lifetime, much like the word nurse, we can drop associating gender when we think of a nanny.  Remember when the word “nurse” triggered immediate assumptions of a female caring for patients?  I’d bet that these days people are not as quick to assume.  Flight attendants, receptionists & assistants, teachers, housekeepers – it’s almost endless and it goes both ways.  I believe that it would better all of these industries to balance out the ratio of men and women employed – we’re all equal, right?

The manny is a rare breed, with men accounting for a minuscule 5-10% of all nannies in America. The knee jerk reaction to understanding this imbalance may be that, “a female is better suited to caring for your children”.  Wrong – sexist and wrong. In actuality, male nannies that are good at what they do are held in high regard, often employed in more affluent communities that are rich in education, where parent’s have the resources and confidence to go against the cultural grain.

As a manny of many years, I am constantly questioned about my career choice – I have several female colleagues in my line of work and I can almost certainly say that they aren’t questioned nearly as much, if at all. In any case, lets skip the basics and get down to what a manny provides a household that a female may not:

 *DISCLAIMER – I am aware females are in no way inferior to males, but all aboard the stereotype 

express- if you disagree with any of my general assumptions please comment so we can discuss, I’d love to hear them!

A positive and engaged male role model:

Sounds obvious, right?  The child has a father that likely ticks this box, correct?  Maybe, but perhaps not. Even in homes where the father is present, research shows that the average father spends less than 10 minutes a day one-on-one with his child. Certainly not placing any blame here since this is likely on account of the fact that he works a full time job and has a laundry list of to-do items when said job is finished!  The point is, that during the other 1,430 minutes of the day, children spend most of their time in school and at home being watched over, educated, and influenced by women (remember, this is on average, not factual!).  Incorporating more balanced time with female & male figures will provide a more balanced and diverse development stage in a child’s life.

Two Words: Rough House.

Is that one word or two?  In any case, there’s no doubt that men encourage more physicality when around a group of kids. As a male nanny, showing up to an 8 year old’s birthday party is a sure fire invitation for me to either be tackled, throwing children *safely* across the pool, or inciting a game of impromptu freeze tag.  This kind of play is essential for kids – boys & girls! And even better when we can teach children how they can have fun, be their rambunctious selves event with adults, in a safe environment.  Now I certainly know some nannies who know their way around a flag football field, but more often than not, the children equate mannies with that physical, athletic activity.

We Have Something To Prove

We are the minority and well aware!  Do you think it’s easy to compete with Mary Poppins?  Frauline Maria?  Or Julie Andrews herself while I’m at it?!  

We exist in this middle ground role that’s not widely recognized yet, the work we do is paramount, high risk, and enormously important! Luck for me and my business, all of the (many) mannies I have had the pleasure of meeting since starting Angeles Mannies appear to fully understand the importance of a manny. Many have come from a tutoring background or spent 4 years in a college attaining a professional qualification; they know how to have fun, and how to discipline when needed.

That’s a brief snapshot of what came to mind on the topic and I hope to keep the list growing with the blog…..It feels strange writing the ways in which a male nanny can help a household, I didn’t even bother to add that a male can clean or that they know their way around a kitchen because it just seems insulting to everyone involved and should be a given, this is 2015 people.

I ask that you comment explaining your pros and cons of a manny, next time I will continue to talk about the manny, some of my experiences and why I was turned down a manny position (spoiler alert, it was because I was not gay.)

Daniel Butcher

1st time nannies: Top Tips

Here are a few top tips I would suggest to ALL 1st time nannies (male and female). I will write about each point in more detail in later articles, as well as create a ‘manny specific’ checklist

Get a contract

This protects both you and the family and clearly outlines what is expected of you.
There are uncomfortable topics of discussion in every role in every industry
–  and salary, holidays, benefits and responsibilities should be clear from the start.
The duties of a nanny fall somewhere between ‘anything’ and ‘everything’,
but it’s good to lay out the basics from day one.

 

 

Communication is key.

Be open, honest and transparent with your employers.
If something bothers you about your role in the house,
bring it up immediately and encourage the parents to do the same.
Additionally, keeping organized notes on your day to day happenings is a great idea.

 

“Shape Up or Ship Out”.

Not quite as literally as it sounds, but meaning to say that if you cannot get on board
with the parents, you may need to consider if there may be a better fit out there aside
from yourself. Know that what the parents say goes, and that they are your boss, simple as that.
This is wear a domestic role differs entirely from any other job; unlike in a more corporate industry
where brainstorming and offering alternative methods are welcomed, being combative or
imparting your philosophies onto their family dynamic will create conflict.
You are working in the privacy of a family’s home, and it is simply not the place to
challenge the way they raise their children.

 

 

 

 

Develop a 6th sense. 

Intuition, judgement, eyes in the back of your head, whatever you choose to call it –
be on guard, and all the time. Know when to be active, when to step back,
when to give family their time, when to step back in.
Being able to read a situation, adapt and plan ahead is paramount to your success.
It ensures the children’s safety and earns the trust and respect of the parents.

 

 

Take photos! 

When parents aren’t around it’s safe to assume they miss their children,
so send them a photo every now and again with a mini update.
‘Stopped for a quick game of soccer’, ‘finished all our greens today!’
Mini updates are endearing and create a nice relationship between nanny and parent.

 

 

 

 

Boost your resume with recognized skills and credentials. 

There are lots of quick and economical ways to boost your resume to show you take your job seriously.
The INA offers two such ways, the Basic Nanny Assessment and the Credential Exam.

 

Danny the Manny: Mannies of the World (Guest Blogger – Danny Wakefield)

This week we decided to bring in another guest blogger to talk about HIS take on male nannies and what he feels they can bring to the household. Danny Wakefield (AKA Danny the Manny) has found himself caring for children for as long as he knows.

Professional Manny | Super Manny |Travel Nanny | Adventure Nanny |Photographer | Dog Lover | Dreamer | Lover of Life | Optimist | World Sight Seeker|

On top of his impressive Instagram resume, he is also an all-round great person and caring soul.

Let’s see what Danny has to say on the topic of being a male nanny

Danny Wakefield – Early life

Ever since I was a young child, I’ve found myself surrounded by babies. I used to think that it was ironic that no matter where in the world I was or why I was there, I was always in the presences of young beings. As I’ve grown, I’ve found that it wasn’t irony that was drawing me to babies and young children; it was my destiny. The first time that I knew I wanted to be a manny was when I was twelve years old. It was at this age that I started babysitting regularly, and would often find myself daydreaming about becoming Angelina Jolie’s nanny. At the time, she didn’t even have children, but as her family has grown and blossomed, I am able to see why my twelve year old self was drawn to her.

After High School

As soon as I graduated high school, I dove into beginning my professional career as a manny. While supporting the daily development of children, I was also able to put myself through school to get my first degree in Early Elementary Education and a second in Early Childhood Family Studies with a focus on Child Development and Autism. When I finished my degree and was able to pair that with my experience, my career as a manny really took off.

Being a professional manny has not only taught me a tremendous amount about children, but also about family dynamics and how to navigate relationships with parents. I’ve learned how to create environments that open lines of communication while also empowering parents the be the best they can be, all along continuing to create a space for them to lean into the support I’m able to provide as a manny. There have been a few hard situations with families that I have been in, but I’ve always found that when one door closes with a family, another one always opens.

Pushback from Society

Through my career as a manny, I’ve also experienced some push back from society and parents alike in regards to my decision to be a male nanny. My abilities and credentials are often questioned. What I’ve found though, is that as soon as people see me with children, they no longer question my choices because they are able to see the level of passion that I have towards being a present, grounding force in the lives of children. They see the way that children flock to me in a way that can only be explained through experiencing it, not through words. They see that my gender doesn’t quantify the quality of care that I am able to provide for children; my love and passion for children does. As a manny, I can be mothering, nurturing, and be an example of positive masculinity all at the same time. I strive to create an environment where my kids feel safe to shed stereotypes and labels. I crave to instill confidence in them to find the courage to push beyond the boundaries of the boxes that society puts them in. I dig deep to drive through the constraints of societies stereotypes in order to live as my authentic self, and to be the best example for children that I can be.

Danny the Manny – A life filled with love

One thing that  I’ve loved the most about being a manny is being able to combine my passion for children and traveling the world. As an adventure manny, I often accompany my families on vacations and work travel all over the world. I’ve had the privilege of seeing the world in the best way possible, through the eyes of children. To date I’ve been able to travel internationally to Morocco, London, Paris, Tokyo, Germany, and Austria. I’ve also been all over the states including: New York, DC, Arizona, Florida, California, Washington, Hawaii, and Idaho. While traveling
with families I’ve found that it presents it’s own set of rewards and challenges. There is new layer of accountability and responsibility that comes with caring for children while on the road. I’ve traveled with families where I’ve been on the clock for the entire duration of the vacation, sometimes many weeks at a time, and also with families that consciously make sure that I get a bit of Danny downtime. I’ve found the most important tool to use while traveling with children is to bring as much of their routine on the road with us as possibly. I always make sure to pack their favorite bedtime stories, pictures to decorate the room with, blankies, and other small items that help them to feel at home while away. Over the years, my world has become so much more colorful because I’ve been given the gift of seeing it through the same lens as children.

 

 

There are many profound reasons that make this the perfect career choice for me. But what fills my heart the most is knowing that as a manny, I have the ability to change the lives of little beings. Those little beings then go out and change the world. As a manny, I have the ability to change the world, one little being at a time. While at the same time, those same little beings are changing my life – Danny the Manny.

You can follow Danny’s Instagram here.

If you’re interested in sharing your story of why you became a caregiver or if you’re looking for somebody just like Danny, please contact us here!

“Oh, a manny, like, a male nanny? That’s good!”

– This was the response I got 90% of the time when I was asked how old my darling children were as they see us wrestling in the park or picking out candy as they hide behind my leg. It’s a compliment that the children I care for show the level of comfort with me that would lead someone to assume I was the father (I don’t plan on having children for a while!).

 

Daniel Butcher of Angeles Mannies sat down with Ali Williams, owner and founder of Princess and me Parties with a few questions –

 

Danny: How long have you been transforming birthday parties into magical wonderlands and what prompted you to begin?

Ali: As a child I walked about the house in “sparkle shoes” shouting lines from my favorite movie “The Princess Bride”, so you could say I had a thing for princesses. Throughout school I studied theater and always enjoyed spending time with children. The true journey began back in Orlando when I began my 3 year adventure in a new pair of sparkle shoes; I portrayed Cinderella in the theme park, then I continued my portrayal in Anaheim before deciding on a new path. After working for several other companies for a year, I decided I wanted to start my own business. We’re coming up on 2 years and what an amazing 2 years it’s been. We’re now one of the top five princess party companies in the Los Angeles area. I started with a dream and a sewing machine and here I am! If my friend Cinderella taught me anything, it’s to always keep on believing, and some day your dreams will come true.

 Danny: What was your biggest issue at the beginning of this adventure?

Ali: There have been so many wonderful learning experiences along the way that I am so grateful for. I’ve never run my own business before, so getting the paperwork for insurance and licensing was quite daunting. I decided to just jump in and figure it out as I went! Out of all the things I have learned so far, I have to say that website development has been my favorite. It’s very much like a game; every time you think you have things figured out, you level up and discover more. Every day I learn a better way to execute a task and it’s fantastic.

Danny: You are called Princess and Me Parties, should I assume you have no Captain Jack Sparrows or Prince Charming’s for boys parties??

Ali: While we are called Princess and Me Parties we do offer male characters such as several of the coordinating princes to our princess characters and a few superheroes and pirates too! We have 33 characters and growing. Believe it or not, we find that most boys love our princess parties too. They usually sit in the back during story time and shout out all the answers, then they open up and it’s adorable. Even our face painting has masculine and feminine design options. Our parties are fun for all guests.

Danny: Is there anything else you’d like to tell us about you and your Princesses?

Ali: Oh goodness there’s so much I’d love to share! Hmmm let’s see, I know! We have spent a lot of time coming up with what we believe to be the perfect princess party. Our activities have been tested, our costumes have been sewn in house with special attention to detail, and our characterizations have been practiced, but when it comes down to the party, we’re there to make it the most magical day ever for that birthday child. Our most magical moments have been when a birthday child and a character take a moment and just connect with some giggles, hugs, and discussions of happily ever afters. Everything else stops. We’re there for that child on a day they’ll never forget.

 

For more on Ali, Princess & Me Parties or to book your very own dream come true visit: