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Real Funny Jokes for Kids

Kids Jokes

They say laughter is the best medicine (besides medicine) and right now we could all use a hefty dose of laughter. Besides being a joyous way to connect with your children, comedy is also a great creative outlet for kids. It allows them to express themselves and their world view while tangibly connecting with others. Humor instills kids with a playful, light attitude towards life and can be especially positive in a time like this. Learning proper joke structure to play with is also a useful tool for kids to learn not just how to entertain, but to release tension and improve social situations. Here are some of the best jokes ever for kids!

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? 

A: A gummy bear!

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? 

A: Ground beef!

Q: What do you call a fly without wings? 

A: A walk!

Q: What animal needs to wear a wig? 

A: A bald eagle!

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? 

A: Because she will let it go!

Q: Why did the math book look so sad? 

A: Because it had so many problems!

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? 

A: Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!

Q: What kind of nut has no shell?

A: A doughnut.

Q: What does a spider’s bride wear?

A: A webbing dress.

Q: What does a nosy pepper do?

A: It gets jalapeño business! (all-up-in-yo business)

Q: What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?

A: Time to duck.

Q: What did one firefly say to the other?

A: You glow, girl!

Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled? 

A: Because they take too long to iron!

What did one hat say to the other? 

A: Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

Q: What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?

A: Lunch and dinner.

Q: Where does the chicken like to eat?

A: At a rooster-ant!

Q: What did the tree say to the wind?

A: Leaf me alone!

Q: Why are cats so good at video games?

A: Because they have nine lives.

Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? 

A: Your head hits the ceiling!

Q: What kind of key opens a banana? 

A: A mon-key.

Q: What do you give a sick lemon?

A: Lemon aid.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: The chicken hadn’t evolved yet.

Q: What do you call a dog who goes to the beach in the summer?

A: A hot dog.

Q: When do you go in red and stop on green?

A: When you are eating a watermelon.

Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?

A: People are dying to get in.

Q: What state has a lot of dogs and cats?

A: Pets-Sylvania.

Q: What is the dog’s favorite button on a remote?

A: Paws.

Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?

A: A pork chop.

Q: Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself?

A: Because it’s two-tired!

Q: How does Darth Vader like his toast? 

A: On the dark side.

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

A: The same middle name.

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: Put a little boogie in it.

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? 

A: You look flushed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? 

A: Never mind, it’s over your head.

Q: How does a train eat?

A: It goes chew chew.

Q: Why are fish so smart?

A: Because they live in schools.

Q: What do porcupines say when they kiss?

A: Ouch.

Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

A: Thunderwear.

Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?

A: Tweets.

Nothing builds a child’s self-esteem like making someone laugh. Knock-knock jokes are great because kids learn wordplay which translates academically and also the give-and-take structure encourages teamwork. Here are some great knock-knock jokes to tell and to teach.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Atch.

Atch who?

Bless you.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Radio

Radio, who?

Radio-not, here I come!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Wooden shoe.

Wooden shoe who?

Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Doris.

Doris who?

Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

I love.

I love who?

I don’t know, why don’t you tell me!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dishes.

Dishes who?

Dishes a nice place you got here.

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Cows go. 

Cows go who? 

No, cows go MOO!

Got any additions to our list of best jokes ever for kids? Send them our way to be included on our blog! We’d love to hear from you.

The first step to managing the burn out is to identify it and recognize it for what it is. Burnout can look like many different things, but the general symptoms are:

“Burning out as a nanny is a common affair and is not something to be ashamed of or to stress out about even further, but it also shouldn’t be the new normal.”

Burn out is generally accepted as occurring when a nanny doesn’t have enough time for themselves to recharge, decompress and de-stress in-between shifts. This type of burn out is temporary and can be relieved simply by relaxing over the weekend or taking quality time for oneself. For more chronic burnout, however, there are many factors that can add up. Nannies who are at risk for burn out are:

  • Nannies who have a sense of personal responsibility. This type of burn out is especially present in nannies who do more emotional care giving, usually for children with special needs or in homes where there is turmoil or neglect.
  • Nannies who are not being paid enough. If one’s needs aren’t being met financially, it can be very difficult to be present for the job that is supposed to be paying your rent and feeding you.
  • Nannies who work without boundaries. If a nanny is without a work agreement and their role in unclear, they may end up being asked to take on additional roles outside of care giving.
  • Nannies who work long hours without time to recharge in-between shifts.

What can I do?

Many nannies work long hours and become emotionally invested in order to provide children with the proper care that they need and deserve, and to scale back on that care would be against their beliefs and be damaging for the child. So, as a nanny, how can you take care of yourself and the child?

Engage in Self Care

Self care is a major buzzword these days, but it looks different for everyone. Self care can be manipulated into marketing schemes, so it’s important to recognize what acts are actually beneficial to your rejuvenation between stressful care giving shifts. Shopping as self care may be good for some people, but if the cause of your burn out is due to financial stressors, it probably won’t do you any good. Self care is whatever you need to do to shake off the day. Exercise is a proven method of de-stressing and releasing endorphins, the chemicals in your brain that are responsible for happiness. Exercising every day also helps you manage stress and deal with whatever is coming up for you. Taking a bath, reading a good book, watching a movie or engaging in a creative activity are also wonderful ways of engaging in self care for nannies.

Practice Mindfulness

Change your perspective while you’re at work. Instead of focusing on the negatives, “I’m not being paid enough for this”, “I am giving so much to this family”, or “I’m not getting enough help” think about all of the positives that are present, like “I am making a wonderful connection and a difference in this child’s life” and “I am capable and strong and can handle any adversity that is thrown at me.” Many caregivers get disheartened when their work goes unnoticed. Often, it is those types of families that the work is needed most. 
Visualize the fact that connecting with and nurturing their child is making a huge impact in their life. Think about how doing the laundry or cleaning the kitchen is creating a safe environment for the child. Changing the way you look at your role can have a huge impact on your mental health and your burn out. Take control of your days by engaging the child in fun activities that are also fun for you. Have a dance party, make a silly craft or just get a change of scenery. If it makes you smile, it will also make the child smile.
 

Draw Clear Boundaries

It is ideal for all nannies to have a close connection with their charges and with their families, but that closeness can often lead to feelings of guilt and obligation. If you are asked to do something you know will tire you out or leave you cranky and irritable, it’s okay to say no. Your job as a caregiver first and foremost is to care for the child, and anything that impedes on your ability to do so is outside of your job description and therefore not your responsibility. If you set expectations with the family, they can understand what you need and how better to allow you to assist the family.

Reach Out

If burnout is not managed, it can lead to more severe mental illnesses. Ask for help if you are having symptoms of depression or anxiety that you can’t manage yourself. Nannies are hard workers and often work alone, but there is no shame in asking for help when it is needed. If you are getting the help that you need in order to do your job correctly, then all parties benefit. Tell your nanny family that you are having difficulties performing, and have an open and honest conversation about how you can work together to make things better.

Accept Your Situation

Burning out as a nanny is a common affair and is not something to be ashamed of or to stress out about even further, but it also shouldn’t be the new normal. Once you accept that you are burned out, you can start taking steps to make your work-life balance healthy again.
 
If you are a nanny experiencing burn out, reach out to us! We can offer a number of solutions from drafting nanny work agreements to advice on how to set boundaries. Remember that you are not alone, all caregivers have felt this way at one point, but there is no reason that you need to continue feeling stressed.

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