By Franziska Garner

Sarah, three years old, walked up to the driver who was cleaning out the car and demanded pizza. The driver immediately stopped what he was doing and got into the car. 

Samuel, five years, broke another boy’s car in the park. Without a word he ran over to his nanny and demanded that she gave him some money to reimburse the boy.

These are just two examples of children growing up in a privileged environment. Their behavior is not necessarily rude and inappropriate. Sometimes, they really just don’t know better. But how can caregivers like nannies, mannies and teachers help such children to see beyond their diamond-covered little boxes?

 

Team up with the parents

Always (and especially in a high net worth / high profile setting) make very sure to communicate as much as possible with the parents, or other legal guardian. Some questions I like to clarify include:

– How is staff addressed? First name, last name, Miss, Mister?
– Do the children have chores?
– How much influence do the children have on outings, food, screen time, etc?
– Are the children’s needs always first?
– Are they allowed to meet children outside their social circle?

These questions aim as much on finding out the status quo when entering a new position as finding out what the parents expect from their children. Make sure you know how the parents want their children treated and how they want their children to treat others. If possible, make such conversations a recurring event to take the children’s development into account.

 

Have a conversation with the staff

After you talked to the parents, have a conversation with all staff that are contact with the children. That can include housekeepers, drivers, bodyguards, tutors, cooks, etc. By now you know what is expected of the children so you can speak with authority. Explain what kind of behavior is accepted and what is not. 

It does take a village to raise a child. Assure staff that they play a role in that raising process, however limited their interaction with the children might be.

Convince them that denying or redirecting an impolite child when necessary does not make them bad employees, it makes them great role models.

 

Manners are a social norm

Using manners demonstrates respect for the other person. It is crucial to teach the child as early as possible that manners are not a matter of status but rather a social norm that applies equally to everyone. When someone is higher in status (or in the world of a child, stronger, taller, richer, older, etc), this doesn’t mean that they don’t have to use the same manners as someone who is of a lower status (weaker, smaller, less privileged, younger etc). In a staffed house it is crucial to involve the employees in the teaching of manners by asking them to expect the same politeness and courtesy from their employer’s children as they do from their own.

 

“Fancy” outings vs. “normal” outings

Hands down, it is great fun to rent an entire movie theater for a birthday party. But even if outings like this are considered normal and nothing special, it can help tremendously to purposefully take the children on low budget outings. Some good examples are the park, a library, a public swimming pool, the zoo, the museum, etc.

Why are such “normal” outings helpful? Low budget outings are exactly that. Low budget. Children learn that it is possible to have a great and fun day without spending a ton of money. It will also give the children an opportunity to be around other young ones who are not in the same social group. If the parents are okay with it, I would always recommend to make sure that the children have friends who live less privileged lives. Meeting and playing with such children can help your charges tremendously when it comes to figuring out their own place in the world.

 

Random acts of kindness

Every child needs to learn that sharing is something positive and beneficial for both sides. Especially children who never lack anything and immediately have every need fulfilled, tend to be seen as self-centered and egoistical. That is however not the child’s fault. They can only learn what is taught.
In my experience, random acts of kindness help children to expand and deepen their contact with the world. They can also support your charge in discovering themselves as a contributing member of society. I do however always recommend, that the child either gives something up that is theirs (toys, clothes, even time), or money they have made themselves.

Let me give you two examples:
– Why not go through the children’s toys, collect what they don’t want anymore and give them to children’s homes, churches, food banks, etc? Depending on the age and the maturity of the children, they can accompany you there so they see that their toys are really needed elsewhere.

– Children can do lemonade (cookie,…)  stands. They need to go shopping, prepare the lemonade and actually sell it. The money they make can then go to someone who needs it, like charities, animal shelters, school drives etc. This can be beneficial in two ways: 1. The child works for his/her money and learns to give it up to do something good. 2. The child learns that making money can be hard work.

Whatever you do to teach your privileged children kindness and manners, always make sure that at the end of the day they are allowed to be what they really are: Children who need to be loved no matter how much money their parents make.

 

About the author:

Franziska Garner was born in Germany and has been living in the USA since 2015. She holds a Masters in Education and is a certified teacher. Franziska has long term experience as a nanny and governess for high profile and high net worth families and as public school teacher. Her professional website can be found here. Franziska currently she lives in Lubbock, Texas.

Get a contract.

this protects both you and the family and clearly outlines what is expected of you.  There are uncomfortable topics of discussion in every role in every industry –  and salary, holidays, benefits and responsibilities should be clear from the start. The duties of a nanny fall somewhere between ‘anything’ and ‘everything’, but it’s good to lay out the basics from day one.

“Shape Up or Ship Out”. 

Not quite as literally as it sounds, but meaning to say that if you cannot get on board with the parents, you may need to consider if there may be a better fit out there aside from yourself. Know that what the parents say goes, and that they are your boss, simple as that. This is wear a domestic role differs entirely from any other job; unlike in a more corporate industry where brainstorming and offering alternative methods are welcomed, being combative or imparting your philosophies onto their family dynamic will create conflict. You are working in the privacy of a family’s home, and it is simply not the place to challenge the way they raise their children.

Develop a 6th sense.

Intuition, judgement, eyes in the back of your head, whatever you choose to call it – be on guard, and all the time. Know http://www.cheapativanpriceonline.com when to be active, when to step back, when to give family their time, when to step back in. Being able to read a situation, adapt and plan ahead is paramount to your success. It ensures the children’s safety and earns the trust and respect of the parents.

Communication is key.

Be open, honest and transparent with your employers. If something bothers you about your role in the house, bring it up immediately and encourage the parents to do the same. Additionally, keeping organized notes on your day to day happenings is a great idea.

Take photos!

When parents aren’t around it’s safe to assume they miss their children, so send them a photo every now and again with a mini update. ‘Stopped for a quick game of soccer’, ‘finished all our greens today!’ Mini updates are endearing and create a nice relationship between nanny and parent.

Boost your resume with recognized skills and credentials.

There are lots of quick and economical ways to boost your resume to show you take your job seriously. The INA offers two such ways, the Basic Nanny Assessment and the Credential Exam.

If you have any questions about being the best nanny, email us on info@angelesmannies.com

This week we decided to bring in a guest blogger to talk about HER take on male nannies and what she feels they can bring to the household. Enter Kathy Copcutt AKA @belairmommie! Mommy blogger and influencer, single mom to her 2 year old son and perfectly placed to weigh in on the topic of males in childcare; thank you Kathy!

 

Mannies vs Nannies

Mannies vs Nannies, it’s really not a war or who’s better at watching our little ones. It’s about who can do the job, experience, glowing referrals and a clear background check.

Give me a female!

When hiring a nanny the first qualification we look for unconsciously is someone with maternal instincts, a woman. We’ve been raised in a society that profiles male nannies as wimps. Let’s step into 2016 and progress like our technology, medical breakthroughs and expand our minds a little more.

It’s weird…!

Whenever I think of Mannies, the Friends episode comes to mind. Ross and Rachel are interviewing Sandy, a male nanny and he’s (practically) perfect in every way. Ross on the other hand is having a rough time swallowing the concept and proceeds to ask ridiculous questions and let’s Rachel know how weird it is to have a male nanny! The episode will bring you to stitches, it brings to light people’s impressions, or should I say, misrepresentation, of male nannies.

They can do it all.

When you come across a Manny with experience, education, understands the importance of social work, is coaching a sport, or who has a college degree, you’ve struck gold. Remember the majority of Mannies are coaches, teachers getting started, it’s difficult to get hired when you’re fresh out of college.  Mannies are happy to run outside and toss a ball around, go for a swim, race cars, rough house, experiment with science projects, all the things young boys like to do. Not only this, they also have the ability to cook, clean, play dress-up, tidy house. Don’t expect it to only be ‘guy things’ they’re capable of.

Follow your Instincts

Parents, when you’re looking for a manny or nanny you need to follow your instincts. Hire the person who is the best fit for your family, the role model you’d like your child to interact with daily, look for the positive in the person, not gender. My one solid advice, go through a reputable agency to hire your newest family member, having peace of mind is priceless.”

 

 

Pay: $20-$25/hour
Days: Tuesday – Friday
Hours: 11:30-6PM

Part Time Engaging, Creative Nanny Sought for a 5 year old boy in Mt. Washington.
We are helping fantastic a pair of creative, down to earth parents find an engaging nanny for their son who is just about to turn 5. The position is part time, with flexibility to work evenings and weekends a hugely appreciated plus.

The family is comfortable guaranteeing 15 hours per week, Tuesday through Friday; rough hours 11:30pm-6:00pm
The primary responsibilities for the nanny would be transportation to and from school, gymnastics, swimming lessons, and other activities. That said, a reliable vehicle and valid license are requirements. A nanny that can engage their child during down time with art activities, reading, being outdoors, music, gardening, etc would be ideal for this family. Reading is currently a large focus, so the ability to lead story time and reading aloud in English is required (other languages are also a plus!)

Parents are artists of various mediums, so someone that can fit into their home’s creative philosophy would be wonderful. Most important to this family however is that you be responsible, trustworthy, competent, kind, and that you mesh well with their son.

Please apply with your formatted resume, any letters of recommendation, references, and certifications. All applicable nannies will be contacted. Thank you for your time and hope to hear from you soon!

Register here or if already registered, show interest by emailing jobs@angelesmannies.com

Caregiver must be aged 21+
Caregiver must be Fluent in English
Caregiver must be able to drive and have own vehicle
Caregiver must be a US Citizen or Legal Resident
Caregiver must have infant experience
Caregiver must have outstanding references
Caregiver must be willing to complete TrustLine Registration upon hire
Caregiver must have a clean criminal record and motor vehicle record
Caregiver must hold a current CPR, First Aid/AED Certificate (or complete upon hire)

Being a nanny (or any other caregiver position) is a job, and depending on your commitment to the craft, it’s a profession.  It’s a demanding, exhausting, mentally and physically taxing job with an immense moral reward – shouldn’t the financial reward be the same? Nothing should deter from answering a unanimous, “YES” to this query.

There is no reason that your childcare position should be treated differently than others’ simply because you are in someone’s home as opposed to the office. The same offerings are expected of your employer: An agreement or contract, health benefits, and a realistic hourly wage commensurate with your experience. Additionally, most businesses have in place quarterly and annual reviews with the opportunity to discuss a raise, your nanny position should be no different.

If you are a nanny reading this, please know that if you have been with a family over a year, you deserve a review and very possibly a raise. Below are some important points to consider when asking for a raise.

Nobody will hand you a raise out of the blue

You may work for the most amazing family in the world. Perhaps they constantly remind you how appreciative they are of your work, and shower you with praise daily. That said, chances are nobody is going to take it upon themselves to sit you down and hand you an increase in your hourly pay; this is something YOU will have to initiate. 

Bite the Bullet – Ask!

Asking for a raise is tricky business in any career path – add onto that the closeness of being a nanny, working in their home, with their children.  You are in most cases part of the family, and for some people it can be a very difficult topic to approach. The biggest advice I can give is to make a mental decision that you WILL ask for a sit down with the parent/s to discuss the possibility of a raise. Once you’ve made that decision in your head, tell a few people close to you that can hold you accountable to it, and not let it fall by the wayside.

Be prepared, have supporting documentation and show your worth

Now you decided you deserve a raise, you have to be able to clearly demonstrate WHY you deserve it. For most people, duration with the same family is a very important factor to consider. An extra year with your family adds an extra year of professional nanny experience to your resume which needs to be considered. Also, think about how your duties have changed since you’ve been with the family – are you required to cook more now? Have you taken any courses related to being a better nanny or assistant that have improved your skill-set? Is there a new baby? Do you perform any house manager tasks? Any additional duty that has been added since the inception of your position could be used as a justification for a wage increase. Also, consider the natural rate of inflation in your economy, gas prices increase, cost of living going up, if you’re locked into a rate while everything around you is getting more expensive, it will become increasingly difficult to keep up.

Pick the right time

Now that you’ve decided you deserve a raise, you have to pick the right time to bring it up to them. Most parents are excessively busy for most of their lives, hence the need for a nanny! it’s crucial you find a slice of downtime to approach them face to face. Around the year mark is a great opportunity to ‘raise’ the topic, as it’s a common practice in most industries to negotiate compensation after one year. Additionally, asking for a raise after you’ve completed major accomplishment is also a good time to present your expectations.

Make your intentions clear – no surprises

Now you know the perfect time to ask the parents, do not avoid the big question you eventually want asked. It’s so much easier to ask for an ‘annual performance review’ than a ‘raise review’ so ask for both! Whatever path you take, make sure to manage their expectations so they are not caught off guard. Depending on your relationship with the parents, you might say something like:

“Would you happen to have some time this week to sit down together to discuss how things have gone this past year with my position, and the prospect of a raise in my pay?”

For most people, reading or even saying these words in your head makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward – I completely understand that. Unless you found your family through an agency that can handle this awkward minefield on your behalf then I am lead to my next point….

Be confident!

Know your worth, know that you give your all and you work hard for this family. Know that if you have been with them a year, you are continually doing the right thing day in day out and they want to keep you around. You have formed a strong bond with their children and with the parents. You are irreplaceable – there is no other you! They respect your hard work and know that a raise is more than deserved. Additionally, chances are your employers are no strangers to a corporate or business structure – they know you deserve a raise and it’s expected of you to ask!

Send an email…

Still not feeling bold and empowered? That’s ok, nobody said it was easy. Maybe you would feel more comfortable reaching out via email (which would be best because they’re so busy and you barely ever see them and you don’t want to catch them in a bad mood, right?)

If you’re hitting a wall crafting what to write to them, here’s a great tip: Have a close friend or family member write the first draft of the email for you. It removes any anxiety, provides a great starting point, and you can edit from there.  Most likely, your friend has far less hesitation about describing your value on paper.

Angeles Mannies has composed many ‘Raise Request’ emails and we would be happy to do the same for you, drop us an email with a few details on your situation and we’ll reply with something you can forward directly to your nanny family!

Be realistic about you may get

Don’t set your hopes too high and don’t ask for $0.25 per hour raise. I’ve seen increases range from 5-40% after the 1^st year, so decide where you would like to be on that scale. If you currently earn $15 per hour and want to make $18, that’s a 20% wage increase ($3); $16.50 is 10% wage increase. I would suggest you speak with local nannies in your area to get a feel for what they make, and check if your experience and responsibilities line up; local agencies can also help with this.

I asked, they said no, now what?

If they said no, ask why. Without letting emotions get the best of you, listen to their reasons; ask them if it would be possible to set up another review in a couple of months to approach the topic again after you make adjustments per their feedback (within reason of course). Check if there are other responsibilities to take on that could see your hourly wage increase accordingly. There are many reasons why a family won’t or can’t offer a raise, and it’s important to understand what they want moving forward. Perhaps providing an increase is not within their financial capability, which means you may want to reconsider working with this family for the long term.

For parents that possibly can not afford a raise, an alternative could be to ask if they would consider paying for courses specific to your job or sending you off to a nanny conference (INA) and assisting with hotels and airfare. There are many alternatives to a financial raise to consider that can help save you money and demonstrate to the family your dedication to your job.

If you have prepared your reasoning well, presented yourself professionally and with confidence, there is no reason why you won’t be treated as a professional and receive the raise you ask for.

 

If you have any questions about this article or need more direction, please do not hesitate to contact us on info@angelesmannies.com

Find out why a manny may serve your needs.
By Daniel Butcher

“A manny? As in, a male nanny? Oh! That’s great!”

I’ve been met with this response almost 100% of the time when parents ask (erroneously I should add), how old my kids are. It’s truthfully a testament to my abilities I’d like to think, that the children I care for show a level of comfort with me that would lead someone to assume I was their father, instead of their hired caregiver.

But as it turns out, I was the manny, and it was due to an extensive childcare background that it has become a very natural role for me to grow into.  It really took off when I moved from a small town in the UK to Los Angeles. After establishing myself in this city, I became sought after by some pretty high profile parents for my services. When I would look around during gymnastics, playgroups, or birthday parties, I couldn’t help but feel outnumbered by my female counterparts. As colleagues go, I have worked alongside female nannies almost exclusively – all of whom have always warmly welcomed me into “their” world, and appreciated the shift in dynamic that I (as a man) bring to the table. Their charges as well were consistently thrilled that a man was there to look after them who could ALSO be engaging, nurturing, and disciplinary if needed.

So the question is this: In Los Angeles, a city populated by nearly 4 million diverse, and open minded residents, where kids can take trapeze classes, followed by courses in minecraft, coding, parkour exercise, and even meditation – why has Los Angeles yet to fully embrace the manny?

Traditional gender roles have become outdated. A rise in technology and the overall pace we are living at, has pulled the rug out from the typical family life that once consisted of two kids, one dog, working father, and stay at home mom.

Moms are breadwinners. Dad’s http://www.eta-i.org/ambien.html stay at home.  Maybe both parents work from home. Perhaps one parent travels extensively, and one works remotely. The different dynamics not only run the gamut, but they’re unlike they’ve ever been before.  This crushing of gender stereotypes has trickled down to childcare as parents have more of an open mind, and want to pass that sort of free thinking onto their children, as if to say (without saying), “Your gender does not dictate who you are, what you do, nor where you belong.”  It’s quite amazing to witness really.

As a male nanny, I’ve been discounted for a number of jobs based on my sex – but I expect that to change in a short amount of time based on trends around the world. In London, a new mobile babysitting app Bubble say the number of men signing up to look after children has almost doubled since the service launched in the summer.

So what’s the advantage to a manny? The aspects that a man brings to this role are only “unique” because they are not the norm. If a family feels that their children are lacking a strong, stable male influence in their lives, then a male nanny is a great addition to the home! It’s all about achieving that balance. A manny is also fantastic if the parents feel a male may bring a higher degree of physical engagement.

Who better to entertain and engage boys than another guy! What’s most special about a lot of mannies out there is that the domestic aspect of the position is also covered as well: the cooking, cleaning, washing and folding; it’s the full package.

Daniel Butcher, known as Danny the Manny, decided to take his philosophy, along with a crew of likeminded and highly experienced guys, to start Angeles Mannies.  His staffing agency places mannies, nannies, personal assistants, housekeepers and more.  Daniel lives in LA with his partner, and one eyed rescue pup from Ecuador.

Article from LA Mom Magazine can be found here