Signs your nanny is a good fit include: your children are relaxed and engaged in their presence, the nanny communicates proactively without being prompted, they use judgment well during unstructured time, and your household runs more smoothly on the days they work. A poor fit shows up as the opposite, quiet children, reactive-only communication, and a general sense that something is off even when you cannot name it.

Why This Question Matters More Than People Admit

Most families know within a few weeks whether a placement is working. What holds them back from acting is uncertainty: is this a normal adjustment, or a real problem? The cost of waiting too long to address a poor fit is high. Children adapt to whatever dynamic exists. Patterns that seem minor at 30 days become entrenched by 90.

Conversely, cutting a good nanny loose over adjustment anxiety is expensive and disruptive. Knowing which signals matter, and which are just early friction, helps you make the right call.

Positive Signs Within the First Month

• Your child is engaged, relaxed, and not distressed during the nanny’s time with them
• The nanny shares updates without being asked, what they ate, how nap went, a moment from the afternoon
• They handle unexpected situations (spilled lunch, a meltdown, a schedule change) without calling you for every minor decision
• They notice things: a child who seems off, a supply running low, a schedule conflict coming up
• Your household feels more organized on their working days, not less

Signs That Deserve Attention

• Your child is consistently subdued or uncharacteristically quiet around the nanny
• Communication is reactive only, you always have to ask, never receive proactive updates
• Small tasks fall through unless explicitly requested every time
• The nanny struggles to make basic decisions without checking with you first
• You feel you need to over-explain or re-explain routines after weeks of repetition
• Your instinct keeps returning to a specific concern, even if you cannot fully articulate it

None of these signals alone is a dealbreaker. A pattern across multiple areas, persisting beyond the first few weeks, is worth a direct conversation.

The 30-Day Check-In

Build a formal 30-day check-in into your onboarding. This is not a performance review, it is a two-way conversation. What is working? What could be clearer? Are there any schedule or logistics issues to solve? A structured check-in at 30 days normalizes feedback, surfaces small problems before they become big ones, and gives the nanny a clear signal that communication is expected and welcomed.

Families who do 30-day check-ins consistently report fewer difficult conversations later.

A Typical LA Scenario

A Hancock Park family with two young children hired their nanny six weeks ago. The nanny is warm and consistent, but the parents realized they were always the ones initiating updates. They had a brief, direct conversation: “We’d love a quick daily note, even just a few lines about lunch, nap, and one highlight.” The nanny responded immediately and the pattern shifted within a week. The placement is now two years strong.

The issue was not fit, it was an unexpressed expectation. That is one of the most common “fit” problems, and the most fixable.

When It Is Actually Not Working

Some fit problems are not fixable with a conversation. If your child is consistently unhappy past the six-week mark, if you have had direct conversations that produce no change, or if your instinct is persistent and specific rather than vague and anxious, that is different from adjustment friction. Trusting that instinct early is far less disruptive than managing a placement that is not working for another six months.

Common questions about managing your nanny

Frequently asked questions

How do I keep a great nanny long-term?

Competitive pay, consistent communication, clear boundaries, and genuine appreciation are the biggest factors. Annual raises (3 to 5% is standard), acknowledging milestones, and giving adequate notice of schedule changes all contribute to long-term retention.

How often should I give my nanny a raise?

Annual raises are standard. In Los Angeles, experienced nannies typically receive $1 to $2 per hour annually or 3 to 5% of their current rate. If their pay has fallen below market rate, a one-time adjustment to market followed by annual increments is appropriate.

What is the most common reason nannies leave?

Pay that has not kept pace with market rates, scope creep without compensation adjustment, consistent boundary violations like routine overtime or last-minute schedule changes, and feeling that their work is not acknowledged. Most of these are preventable.

How do I handle a disagreement with my nanny?

Address it directly and privately, as soon as possible. Be specific about the behavior you observed, not a character judgment. Most nannies respond well to direct, respectful feedback. Letting issues build without addressing them is the most common source of sudden resignations.

Should I give my nanny paid vacation?

California requires a minimum of 5 paid sick days per year. Paid vacation is not legally required but is standard for long-term placements in Los Angeles. Most families offer one to two weeks of paid vacation after one year. Accrued vacation must be paid out upon termination.