The Reference Questions That Actually Help

This guide is part of our How to Hire a Nanny in Los Angeles resource for families.

A resume can tell you where a nanny has worked. A thoughtful reference call can tell you what it was actually like to employ them. For Los Angeles families, especially those hiring for full-time, newborn, travel, or family assistant roles, reference checking is one of the clearest ways to understand fit before an offer is made.

Start With Employment Verification

Before asking personality questions, confirm the basics: dates of employment, schedule, ages of the children, duties, driving responsibilities, household tasks, and whether the nanny worked independently or alongside a parent. If the reference’s timeline does not match the resume, slow down and ask for clarification.

Ask About Safety and Judgment

The best reference questions are specific enough to invite real examples. Ask how the nanny handled illness, discipline, separation anxiety, driving, swimming, playdates, screen-time rules, and emergencies. You are listening for calm judgment, honesty, and whether the nanny respected the family’s rules even when no one was watching.

Ask About Reliability

Reliability is one of the biggest predictors of whether a placement will work. Ask whether the nanny arrived on time, gave appropriate notice, managed schedule changes professionally, and communicated when something came up. One late arrival is human. A pattern is a management problem waiting to happen.

Ask About Communication Style

A nanny can be wonderful with children and still be a difficult fit if the communication style is off. Ask how the nanny handled feedback, whether they raised concerns early, and whether parents felt informed without feeling overwhelmed. For work-from-home households, communication fit matters even more.

Ask Why the Role Ended

Role endings are not always red flags. Children age into school, families move, schedules change, and needs evolve. What matters is whether the ending makes sense and whether the nanny left on respectful terms. If the answer is vague, ask a follow-up: “Would you hire this person again for the same role?”

Reference Red Flags

• The reference will only communicate by text and avoids a real conversation.
• The employment dates or duties do not match the nanny’s resume.
• The reference gives only generic praise and cannot share examples.
• There are repeated concerns about lateness, defensiveness, or judgment.
• The nanny cannot provide recent family references for recent family work.

What References Cannot Replace

Reference calls are essential, but they are not a substitute for a complete process. Families should also use structured interview questions, a clear trial period, TrustLine where applicable, and a complete background-check process. Each step catches a different kind of risk.

How an Agency Helps

A strong agency does not just collect reference letters. It verifies work history, speaks directly with previous employers, looks for consistency across the full candidate file, and flags anything that needs a deeper conversation before a family invests time in interviews.